When it's hard to say what I am concerned about, at least there is the starting point, that I am concerned. Concern being on my radar, as it were. Or being my radar, scanning for incoming. And it's more than a starting point, this awareness of personal mood and focus. It is the place where things can unravel. Or ravel if such a word exists. And speaking of Ravel, which we weren't, some part of my being remains tuned into the Proms. Yes I'm freshly returned from London. But very much here at this Read more [...]

Yes, it is a little bit precious, goods priced at the brink of credibility and in the final analysis perhaps a bit small, but I do like our local supermarket, Draegers. Take the cubes of Parmesan that Jane has grown fond of. They are handy, these small cheese squares, just the right size for a luncheon snack. And I promised to go in search of them, and really did make a valiant effort, even asking a couple of Draegers staff where the Parmesanettes could be found. But, no, they are either out of stock Read more [...]

As the song says...if you asked me, I could write a book. It would be titled 'Anxiety and the Quadriplegic,' and it would be quite boring. I am writing it anyway, that is the problem. Jane and I are currently domiciled in separate apartments. One being located right above the other, this separateness is hardly acute. As soon as we have a house, our living spaces will merge in the traditional way. For now, we have this, his and hers. And whenever I think about our situation clearly, it seems a Read more [...]

It was in Wales, on one particular afternoon, and my cousin Bob and I had just been for a walk. The latter being a somewhat puzzling term for anyone who knows me. But it was just that. I had risen from my wheelchair for the day's constitutional. That is to say, leaning on Bob's arm...no, that is not quite right, more arm in arm...while I limped, crutch in hand. And who cares about such details? I do. For before we ever get to the heart of the matter, there is the heart of the heart. Of which Bob Read more [...]

If you wait long enough, stare long enough, space out long enough, the day will reveal its pivot point. Some time in the afternoon something shifts. The day has been carrying on as the day. The afternoon has been the afternoon. Until you look up and notice that it is now tilting ever so slightly into late afternoon. Okay, it is the early part of the late afternoon, but it is still a different part. Like cresting the Continental Divide, everything imperceptibly inclines toward one ocean or the other. Of Read more [...]

Bursting into my apartment, fresh from caffeination at Peet's, it is the most natural thing in the world. Turn on the email, see what's what. And it is a subtle thing, and a necessary one, that I tune into that other small something that grabs at the chest. The feeling that it is too much. What is too much...well, it may be impossible to say. But there is this impulse, something that says 'overload.' Enough. Enough with the email. Don't go there, it says. Stay here, it also says. Here being a Read more [...]